a different kind.

I told you to be patient.
And I told you to be fine.
I told you to be balanced.
And I told you to be kind.
Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?

Sometimes we just have to let go. Nothing we do is going to work, and yet we keep trying. We're killing ourselves for something we can't even reach. And you sit down, weeping into your palms. And you let go. There's a massive amount of strength required, the fine art of abandonment. It's beautiful, you know? Letting go. Kissing your dreams adieu, because really, why are we even trying? It's silly. Let's not waste our time, because who cares? Je m'en fiche and you shouldn't either.

You let go and you move on. You settle on something realistic. What you have. What you possess. In your ill-proportioned hands. Such great means, such tiny ways. We think that everything we do matters. The weight of the world rests on this research paper. This dissertation. This presentation. The formatting of the cover page to a report no one will ever give a flying crap about. The final exam in a class that is irrelevant to the major you will study in order to obtain a degree that says nothing and will never be used.

Let's be crazy and just make enough money to get by on macaroni and own a few Gucci purses because we want to. Our boyfriends will buy us diamond rings when we're young because they're beautiful, not because they mean anything. They don't mean anything. They're becautiful. And so are we. Do you see what we mean?

Act. Because planning for it and taking all the right steps and making all the right moves are going to give you the wrong combination of everything. You aren't living life, you're giving in to the standards. I don't want standards. I want lines drawn that I can leap across. I will not feel remorse.

up all night.

Stress. It will eat away at you like the maggot it is. But then you sit in bed, drinking chocolate milk and eating a cupcake, talking to that one person that gets you, listening to your song--you know. That song. That song that you and your best friend heard on the radio that one night when you were beyond dilerious, dancing to everything, and you both looked up and went, "OH MY GOD, THIS IS OUR SONG". And from that night on, every time you see them, you think, "Our song. That's our song playing in my head".

And what's the problem with that? / I got no problem with that.

And everything melts away. Like it was meant to in the first place. We resort back to our primal states, watching youtube clips of The Upside Down Show and just sleeping. We eat food and we drink things other than coffee because really, we don't need it today, darling. We don't yell at our little sisters because, in actuality, their ungodly high pitched giggling is not annoying, but rather adorable. Probably the most adorable thing we've ever heard in our lives. We buy Christmas presents and we don't worry about going broke because the people we're giving to, we love them with everything we have. We'll make more money doing something we hate later in life. We're too young.

And if I breathe in for you / can your heart shine through? / your only pain is to feel none at all / you take away my oxygen

And then we move on with our lives, renewed in our sense of importance and the lack thereof we basely desire. Things don't matter and we're okay with that. We're more than okay with that. We're happy and we dance. We dance. We dance. We see each other through our own afflicted eyes. We've cried the same tears and really, what's the difference? When you talk, your voice reaches octaves below mine, but we never asked for that. We never asked for this. We dance. It comes together in something real, something beautiful, something not of this world and it feels good. It feels good because we feel good. The synergy is so apparent, so choking, and we are free and light. We dance. Together.

Is there anything I can do for you dear? / is there anyone i can call? / no and thank you please madame / i ain't lost just wandering

Sometimes I see you and I think that I could not be any happier with anything I've worked for in my life. Sometimes I see you and I weep because I know that I cannot have what I want. Sometimes I sit and whisper to myself that I wish you would dance with me, just one time, when nobody is watching, and it would just be you, and me, together, dancing.