I still really miss you. I'm not going to sit here and say that I'm happy. I'm not happy. I'm getting there, but even when I'm happy, I won't be whole. Not until we are completely past this. I miss everything about you but that's okay. If I didn't miss you I wouldn't know how full our love was and still could be one day. Maybe we'll be like The Notebook and one day we're going to show up in each others' lives and we'll have learned our lesson which is to never let go of what you love over something stupid. We can't do that now because we're too close to the pain we've caused ourselves. We aren't detached enough. Maybe in a week, a month, a year. We'll figure it out. And maybe you'll find another girl who will cry for hours for you and come back the same as ever and will love you through the pain you put her through. But I doubt it. And maybe I'll find another guy who will hold me through the pain he puts me through and make jokes and still tell me I'm beautiful through the tears. But I doubt it. Not yet. Not for now. Maybe in a while. And not I'll come pick you up in a while, but your heart will be healed and perfect again in a while. That kind of a while. You know, the one your parents tell you about when they know that never is too shocking and anything else would be a lie. That kind of a while. So for now I'll sit and I'll wonder about things I can't change and I'll live with my regrets and every day I'll get stronger and some nights I'll cry for you because I can't watch my favorite movies anymore and some of my favorite music is still ruined. But eventually I have no doubt in my mind that whatever it is that we were meant to be will come to fruition. Something much more beautiful than this bizarre conglomerate of hurt and sorrow we are now. Something that actually belongs in this world touched by God. Something only we could see. Together.