where is my mind?

where is my mind? where is my mind? where is my mind? way out in the water, see it swimmin?

Pandora + White Lies = Fight Club. And how I love this song. It's so beautiful. A lot of stuff is. But a lot of stuff really is just frightening. Like the way I freak out when I see your name still. That has to end. And, ya know, it will. But not yet. Not today. Another day. I'm not pushing myself too hard here because the progress I've made is astounding in the time I've taken. So I'll be content with what I've done.

Next week I'll be seeing some people I haven't in a while. Some old friends, some newer ones, with some surprises and a couple things that I know for sure. One of which being there will be love, and it will be scary. And it might hurt. And it might be one of those bandaid moments. But I'm so ready.

No regrets. Head first. Shark in the water. Stop thinking about what everyone else is going to think and do what you want, what your heart wants. Act on impulse because 99% of the time you're going to be right. Make yourself smile, don't wait on someone else to do it. Dye your hair pink because it sounds like a bad idea. I'll be doing every single one of those things. And it's going to be amazing. Find the beauty in everyday things, like sitting in your garage with your siblings or helping your friend fix his car that broke down in front of your house. Work a terrible job, and spend all of your money on clothes you don't need. Forget to fix your hair a few times. Put on enough makeup to look like a crackwhore (think Pulp Fiction). Listen to rap music even though it's stupid; it makes you want to dance, and why not? Open your windows to hear the little kids screaming and running through the neighborhood. No regrets. Let's go.