baby get close to me.

I'm taking Keegan's advice (again, recurring theme) and just writing everything out until I truly understand what just happened. It was probably one of the best hours of my life. Why? I felt like I was at home there, moving in sync with another set of lungs, listening to that song by Tonic, and that's a concept I've been struggling with so much lately. Finding home. Finding that place to rest my bones.

"baby don't give up on me / experience comes slowly / how optimistic can you be / to wait for things you can not see?"

The other part of me is falling to pieces. Priorities are lining up less than perfectly. What I said before we left may have provoked the actions, but it was never reciprocated. "Thank you" does not count. What happened... I can't tell if I'm letting go of who I used to be, or if I am losing who I am. There's a fine line there, and dancing with the devil has never been my forte.

"So just kill me off now / Because I ain't got a pretty face / So just take my knees out / It's my only saving grace / Don't come over to me and tell me how great I was / Just come over to me and tell me how great I am"

Maybe this will work. Maybe not. Only time will tell. I hate that cliche. Time is NOT the only thing that will tell. I will tell, and you will tell, and we will find out and then we'll tell.