only you will do.

Well. Here we go. I'm ready to do this. I'm ready to sign my life off to something I love, ready to take the fall whether I'm caught or not. And then you question my intentions and means. Well. That means a lot. Thank you. I know you're going to pull your head out of your butt but could you please speed the process so I can just put a band-aid over the hole in my heart and get over it?

"i am finally seeing that i was the one worth leaving"

I've been extremely productive the past few days. I'm actually really proud of myself for that. I completely finished the assignment for Invisible Man and read The Scarlet Letter and am currently working on the LRF for that, as well as reading Catch-22. I've become an extremely target-oriented person, to the point that I do the things I hate as soon as possible simply because I know that the faster I do them, the less time I have to think about them. It has changed my life in a fantastic way. I'm actually accomplishing things. Also, I have time for more exciting things. Like coffee with Ace in the morning. And who wouldn't love that?

"you pray your dreams will leave you here / but still you wake and know the truth / no one's there"

I feel like a new person. The butterfly shedding her cocoon. I hate that metaphor. It's so... Beyond cliche. The point is, I'm the same Danielle I've always been. I'm just doing some seriously fast-paced morphing at present. It seems that each day I'm coming a little more into my own. I'm letting go, living without fear, and dragging them all down with me. I love it. Without a doubt, I have a passion for the person I can be at my best, and a passion to alter the person I am when I'm not at my best. I've come to realize that there's something to strive for every day. There is always something to look to for inspiration, whether it's God, whether it's your muse, whether it's your ideal of life, the love of your life, preservation of your life. Always, something to see on the horizon, running and running until your legs are not your own and you question when you acquired this ethereal strength. That strength is growth. It is evolution. It is strife, pain, fear, love, death, preservation. When you hurt and you hurt and you die and then you pull through, that's your life changing. That's you, taking what's yours, not taking no for an answer, and fighting for yourself. Because in the end, we are all we have to fight for. You don't own your boyfriend. You don't own your Pomeranian liability. You don't own your job, your Chanel sunglasses, or your respectable wardrobe. They own you until you break out and define yourself apart. You spend your whole life fighting for someone else, or what you own, or who you associate with, or the words of a dead burnout, and you've wasted everything you've given yourself and been given by someone better. There are no guarantees anymore. You've lost those with your repose at the beginning of this introspect. All you have is yourself to strive for. Beat yourself up, and get through. You are the only variable that can be controlled. Fix what's wrong with you. Get over yourself. Get over your pains. Get over your vanity and your possessions and your worries and fears and priorities and get a grip. You're wasting away everything you're allowed to have by outsourcing your happiness and control.

"don't you get it don't you get it don't you get it no don't you move"

Improve yourself. It's the only thing you can count on in the end. Your clothes will fall from style, your dog will contract rabies, your boyfriend will leave you, and your PotteryBarn perfect living room will catch on fire in a horrific freak accident when you're on a business trip. What's left?