i think i'm sick but i might be well.

So I've been feeling pretty sick all day long. I actually couldn't finish the class I was taking at the gym this morning. I totally pansied out, and I'm not very happy about that.

"that silence isn't fooling anyone"

I've been having this conversatoin with a certain Jones that has gotten to be quite interesting. Basically, the only reason I even contacted him after my trip to STL was to pester him and make him feel lousy for making me so mad whilst at Six Flags that one day. This, however, has transformed into a highly informative talk about live, perception, and fears. I'm not the only one whose greatest fear is to be alone. In fact, there are more people who share that concern than I could possibly know, I've come to realize over the past while. Maybe those people who are afraid of being alone just need to come together. Because they have the same priorities. And I think that we look at things differently, honestly. We see things from a tainted viewpoint. Life is more about preservation and maintenance than curing the strife.

"every little thing she does is magic"

I'm actually real sad right now, for no particular reason I guess. But I'm working through it and really just trying to see things as rationally as possible. You should all know that that may be somewhat difficult for yours truly.

"ohh a working class face glares back at me / from the glass and lurches / oh forgive me on the streets i ran / turn sickness into popular song"

I'm gonna write something slightly more... Intelligent later. Right now, I'm on to the great job hunt it appears. Let's do this.

can't see for the brightness steerin me blind.

"what did you have in mind?"
"sunday's a good day to get someone to cover my shift and spend money on you"

I don't care if you saw my tweet about it. This made my day. Period. Because this was someone not bashing on me or telling me I'm doing something wrong or asking how many AirHeads they could buy with $1. End of story.

"well you know november has come.. it's gone away"

Today I worked snack shack with Justin and it was crazy fun. Aly was there too. But it was better with Justin cause he's just so chill and he thought there was rocky road ice cream in the freezer.

"we were spittin venom at most everyone we know / now let it drop / let it all drop"

I don't really know what to say. Mentally I'm a disaster. Really. I'm doing this whole trying to lose weight thing and it's really just a downer because I want cake and Ben & Jerry's but I won't let myself cave in this time. And my muscles hurt from working out. I'm trying so hard. But I fail at that. So we'll see.

"hold on to what you need / we've got a knack for fucked up history"

My music is just weird tonight. Personal collection, not Pandora. So it's all over the place. But I need sleep. Maybe I'll write something worth reading tomorrow? Maybe not. I want to laugh at myself for how pathetically depressed I am over a cupcake.